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From the Archives
Archive for April, 2008
The Only Constant is Change (Another Non-Gardening Post)
I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately, a lot of planning, a lot of dreaming and a lot of worrying. And through it all, I’ve been silent here on my little corner of the web. Those of my gardenblogging pals who are on Twitter have some idea of what’s been going through my mind: they’ve seen some whininess, some signs of stress, and a whole lot of me trying to figure out what comes next.
There’s so much I could be sharing with you guys: the fact that the garden is a cacophany of color, that every spring-flowering plant in my landscape is blooming simultaneously: tulips, daffs, forsythias, Bradford pears, muscari, bleeding hearts—you name it, it’s blooming. Of course, not in time for Bloom Day, but blooming just the same. I could be sharing my wintersown successes with you, and my tomato failures. But every time I’ve sat down to write a post, there’s a little voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that right now, time is precious. Right now, I have editors and clients who pay my bills waiting for the work I’ve promised them. Right now, my kids are experiencing their last few days as the “dynamic duo,” and have lots of questions about what having a new person in our family will mean. Right now, I have a few spare moments to snuggle and talk politics with my husband at the end of our day. Something had to give, and ITGO did.
But I’m here now, and I’m posting, damn it, because the next time you hear from me I’ll be a different person. Not just the small changes that happen day by day, but the kind of change that is wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. I’ve been thinking about how each of my children has changed my life, and how I’ve changed in the five years since becoming pregnant with Emily.
When I found out that Emily was coming, I was working full time as a technology assistant in a public elementary school. I loved the kids, I loved my job. Roger and I had just started looking for our first house, and we lived like typical childless couples: plenty of dining out, movies, and just general hanging out. I dreamed of being a novelist, maybe (definitely) fantasized about being interviewed by Oprah someday. Once Emily came, I was a full-time mom who wrote two novels during baby’s nap time. They both sucked, but I loved being a mom, and it felt amazing to have a family of my own.
We found out that Sarah was coming when Emily was 3 months old. Yeah, surprise! Oddly enough, I was calm. Being a mom came easily to me, and I felt ready to give my all to daughter #2. Life dealt with my smugness in its own way. I developed some scary health complications during my pregnancy, and Sarah spent two weeks in the NICU. But she was perfect, and our family grew.
Shortly after, my first piece of nonfiction writing appeared in a small magazine called ‘Birds & Blooms.’ It was an essay about the addictive quality of seed starting, and I got $400 for it. I fell inlove with not just writing, but with actually having someone read what I wrote. I knew I wanted more. So In the Garden Online was born. First a few articles, and then a blog, which is how I met all of you. And I can’t even begin to express how much every one of you has enriched my life. Every time you comment, or email, or link to me, I’m amazed. Thank you—you guys play a huge part in what came next.
All of a sudden, I felt a confidence I’d never felt before. I had something to say, and, holy shit, people cared enough to read it. I started submitting articles, and doing small writing jobs, and working for pennies. I was a writer, and every time someone paid for something I wrote (still, when people pay for something I write…) I can’t quite believe it. Family-wise, things went smoothly—our house was full of noise and love, even if money was tight. We suffered through a miscarriage that, looking back now, may very well have been one of those blessings in disguise.
The writing and editing took off. I make more now, sitting in the living room or writing on the patio, than I ever did working 9 to 5. I feel like I’m dreaming a lot of the time. Even when I’m overworked, I’m happy. And now we’re expecting Elizabeth, daughter #3, and the last child we’ll be having for quite a while. I couldn’t be more excited, but at the same time (for the first time in my time as a mom) I’m wondering how I’m going to do it all. Can I do it? Can I be the mom, wife, writer, person I need to be? Is it possible to give my all to everyone, and, if I do, will there be anything left for me? Can I continue to grow, can my newfound writing career continue to flourish, while I devote myself to the four people who mean the most to me in this world? And is it selfish to not want to give up any of my own dreams for the good of my family?
Now you see why I haven’t been posting very often 
There’s a lot going on, physically and emotionally. I wanted to let you all in on what I’m thinking, and, I guess, maybe I wanted to capture this transition of my life for posterity. Monday morning, I’ll go to St. John’s Hospital in Detroit to be induced and we’ll officially be a family of 5. I’m elated, anxious, impatient, and wishing I had a little more time, all at once. The next time you hear from me, we’ll have welcomed another child into the world, and I’ll be in the next phase of the grand adventure of my life.
Until then, take care, keep growing, and don’t forget to take joy in the little things.
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Mousie Madness
The final voting phase of the Mouse & Trowel Awards launched with more than its fair share of hiccups. Between my insane workload right now, as well as my flagging energy levels, I didn’t get as much done in advance as I would have liked, from uploading the ballot to having badges ready to go.
If you’ve voted today, you probably noticed that the ballot took you to a Survey Monkey form. This is because the Mousie site crashed twice yesterday due to traffic. I’ll need to reconsider my web hosting options before next year, but it was clear that this was the easiest fix for this year.
The original ballot, while it is still up for now, will be taken down after I’m sure everyone has changed their links. If you posted about the Mousies, and originally linked to the ballot that was hosted at MouseandTrowel.com, please change your links. The easiest way is to direct all Mousie traffic to http://www.mouseandtrowel.org. That way, visitors are guaranteed to be taken to the correct ballot, but they’ll also get information about voting deadlines, badges, and links to all of the finalists.
Badges for both finalists and anyone else who would like to promote the mousies will be available before the end of the week. I’ll post when they’re ready.
Sorry for any inconvenience. Thanks!
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Mouse & Trowel Finalists
The nominations have been tallied, and the list of Mouse & Trowel finalists, as well as the final ballot, are now available at the Mouse & Trowel website.
Voting badges, as well as badges for the finalists, will be available later this week.
Congratulations, and good luck!
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Lasagna Gardening: Not the Crock I Thought it Would Be
I have a knack for doing things the hard way. If something seems easy, my tendency is to immediately write it off as a load of nonsense and move on to doing it my way, which always seems to be the most work intensive way.
Generally, I’m right. All of those promises–lose weight with five minutes of exercise a day, the “naughty seat” is the cure to your parenting challenges, use the power of positive thinking to change your life—they’re all bullshit. Getting healthy, parenting, and accomplishing your goals are hard. They’re not supposed to be easy, and they should cost a hell of a lot more than five minutes and $39.95 plus shipping and handling.
So, yeah, back to lasagna gardening. I read Patricia Lanza’s book a few years ago. It sounded tempting, and simple, but I admit tossing it aside and making my gardens in my usual way. It goes something like this:
1. Dig out sod.
2. Double dig entire area, adding compost and manure as you go.
3. Realize that the bed should be bigger, get everything out again, and find yourself still digging Michigan clay in the moonlight.
4. Wake up unable to move.
5. Repeat next time you decide to expand the garden.
(Oh, I forgot the step about using every swear word you learned from middle school on, but not everyone gets as much joy/stress relief from swearing as I do.)
So far, it’s worked for me. My once terrible soil is vastly improved, and I have arm muscles to spare. Then, last fall, I found myself with three issues:
–Lots of seeds for wintersowing.
–Not enough bed space in full sun.
–Newly pregnant, and terrified of miscarrying again. (Yes, I know digging a garden can’t possibly cause you to miscarry. Let’s just chalk it up to hormonal paranoia and leave it at that, shall we?)
So, with Lanza in mind, I got out my newspapers, shredded leaves, grass clippings, finished compost, and the leftover sand from the kid’s sand box (why the hell not?) and I started layering over the grass near the current butterfly garden. Basically, I just wanted to extend the edges of the current, narrow garden by a couple of feet. I ended up with what Lanza said I should: a roughly two-foot tall pile of layered organic matter. I was fully expecting having to move all of that crap out of the way again in spring, dig it up and plant later.
Of course, the pile shrunk over the winter. I told myself it was just everything compressing under the weight of snow and ice. By yesterday, when I finally got around to evaluating how much work I really have ahead of me, the pile had shrunk to about four inches high. Still plenty of shredded maple leaves on top. I started pulling the leaves aside with my hands and was shocked to find dark, crumbly soil beneath. Miracle of miracles, I dug holes in the soil, large enough to transplant poppies from another part of the garden, with my bare hands.
Bookmark this post. You’re about to experience me saying something I NEVER say:
I. Was. Wrong.
I was wrong. Lasagna gardening really does work. Yes, I know gardeners have discovered it before me. I know that some people purport to make all of their gardens this way. It just seemed to good to be true. This has changed my gardening life. I can make new beds with abandon, expand beds without expending a drop of sweat. I’ll have to lift weights and babies to keep my arm muscles toned now!
I can’t wait to start transplanting my wintersown seedlings into this bed now. And I’ve learned an important lesson about being open-minded: a healthy dose of skepticism is a good thing, but missing out on a good thing because of your own stubbornness is a big mistake. Lesson learned.
Garden Blog Quote of the Day: “Umm… so is heroin a green or a brown?”—Anthony @ The Compost Bin
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Margaret Roach Starts a Garden Blog
I got an email today from Margaret Roach. If you’re a fan of Martha Stewart Living, you’ll remember Margaret Roach as the editorial director for the past several years. She’s retired recently, and I remember wondering when I read her farewell column what she’d be doing next. As it happens, one of her latest projects is her newly launched garden blog.
While her email was actually in relation to the Mouse & Trowel Awards, she mentioned that she’s a new garden blogger. In fact, her blog, A Way to Garden, is only two weeks old. I visited, and subscribed, right away. It is everything you’d expect it to be: beautiful, informative, and, of course, full of captivating writing.
If you haven’t stumbled across this new garden blog gem yet, drop by A Way to Garden. Just give yourself plenty of time to linger.
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