Why Bother?
by Colleen Vanderlinden • January 4, 2009 • Miscellaneous • 13 Comments
It’s been very quiet here in my little corner of the Web, and that’s due to both a busy time of year for us family-wise as well as a bit of soul-searching on my part as to where this blog is going.
First, the fun stuff. The family stuff. Christmas was wonderful. Elizabeth’s first Christmas saw her opening presents (with the help of her big sisters) with a green gift bow on top of her head, courtesy of Sarah. I don’t think it’s possible for our house to hold any more Disney Princess paraphenalia, but I say that today, when we are getting ready for Emily and Sarah’s birthday party. We need an addition, just for the toys, I think. I got toys, too, including that seed heating mat I’ve been coveting and a new shovel to replace the one I broke. My family rocks 
Birthdays. Sarah is four years old today. Emily will be five on Tuesday. I am amazed (constantly) at how fast time passes. Just yesterday (it seems to me) I held a pregnancy test up for my husband to double-check—our first indication that Emily was on her way. I can still bring back the memory of how sweet each little girl smelled, how warm they were as I cuddled them, listening to those soft contented sounds only infants can make. I can’t imagine my life without them, even when they make me want to scream. They’ve both amazed me time and time again at how loving they are toward their baby sister. All everyone did when I was pregnant with Elizabeth was warn me about how my older girls would react to a baby in the house. They are the sweetest, most loving big sisters a baby could hope for.
And that’s a good thing, because baby #4 is due in approximately eight weeks. I’ve kept mum on this mostly because it was not an easy pregnancy, and we had a few scares early on. Call it maternal superstition, but somehow it felt safer to not talk about expecting another healthy baby. But now, our baby boy (a boy! Can you believe it? He’ll never get a word in edgewise with three older sisters in the house!) is proving to be very healthy and active, and he is going to be a big baby. We can’t wait until he gets here.
Now, for the not-so-fun stuff. As you may be able to tell from the title of this post, I’m struggling with the direction (and, indeed, the necessity of existence) for this blog. I had strongly considered quitting altogether. It’s not like I’m hard to find online—I have my About.com site and I’m starting a new website, which I hope to launch in the next couple of weeks. I wondered (both to myself and to a few other bloggers) what the point was? What was one more or one less blog in the endless sea of blogs? Does any of this matter? Why bother?
And, as you can see, I’m back. Because the connections I’ve made with both my fellow gardeners and my fellow garden bloggers makes this worthwhile. Because, in the end, this is still fun for me. And I have to remember that the fun is all that matters. I was letting statistics depress me and I was starting to worry far too much about what my fellow garden bloggers thought of me. I want you to like me, don’t get me wrong. But this blog is for me, and for anyone who gets maybe a little bit of encouragement or inspiration from what I write. I was worrying about stupid things like what people thought of the non-garden related content here, such as my posts about freelance writing, or music, or politics, or (like this one) me and my family. In the end, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter. I’m not a “problogger.” I’m a writer, and a gardener, and this is my place to share my thoughts with whoever cares to read them. I truly appreciate those of you who have made ITGO one of the places you visit regularly, and I appreciate each and every comment and email I receive.
So, with this update out of the way, here’s looking forward to a spectacular 2009!
Good to have you back! Congrats on the baby boy. My brother has four sisters, and though he isn’t the baby, I’m sure at times he felt quite outnumbered. But he grew up just fine and seems the better for the love of his sisters.
Yes, let’s make this a spectacular 2009!
Thanks, Carol! That is nice to hear about your brother–and I’m sure our baby boy will also be better for the love of his three older sisters.
Looking forward to another year of reading your posts over at MDG
Congratulations on the coming birth, and here’s wishing you a wonderful 2009!
I look foreward to reading your blog and am happy that you will continue. I think it is perfect just the way it is!! Congratulations on your son and best wishes for 2009. Fired Up, Ready to go!
Hooray Colleen! It sounds like 2009 has very good things in store for you. I am glad you made the decision to continue, very glad. I enjoy reading all of your different kinds of posts.
Yes, I’m also glad you’re back and LOVE your bold off-topic adventures – keep ‘em up! I wish more gardenbloggers would color outside the lines occasionally, like you do.
You’re one of my faves! I sure can’t figure out how you do it (what with those 3 girls and a boy on the way?) but I’m sure glad you do. S
Genie: Thank you, and I hope you have a great 2009 as well!
Flee: I need to print out our President-Elect’s signature line and tape it above my computer! Thanks for the reminder
Katie: Thanks! I think we’ve talked before (probably on Plurk) about how it’s up to the blogger what to feature on their blog, and not to worry about what anyone else thinks. I’m finally taking that advice to heart.
Susan: Thank you, thank you. Now that’s an idea for an off-topic post—how do I find the time? I’ll have to think about that. And it’s no secret that you’re one of my faves. You know that
WHEW… thank god, because even now (when I’m so far behind on reading other blogs) I would feel absolutely bereft if you shut it down here, Colleen.
Congratulations on Baby #4–and a great Christmas!
Thanks Kim
I really, really appreciate it!
Colleen – I hate to be selfish, but I sure am glad you decided to stick around. In fact, I miss you on the micro-blogs! But, I know you must be so so busy with those girls.
I hope I’ve told you this before, but in case I havn’t I’ll say it again here, publically. You inspired and guided me to pursue my first paid writing gig and had it not been for this exact blog, that might not have ever happened. So for me, I need you around! Either way, I’ll never forget the e-friendship and guidance you’ve given me. Thank you, again.
Flee’s comment cracked me up, Colleen – that slogan is on a post-it, taped on the shelf over my computer for the last couple of months. With four kids you’ll need to be Fired Up? Ready to Go!
Three girls and one boy is what my cousin has and it seems to be working out fine… I’ve got the reverse – three boys and one girl. It will be fun to read about your experiences.
If even we bloggers can’t write about whatever the heck we want, what’s the point? Have fun!
Annie at the Transplantable Rose
(This next part is like seeing a friend with spinach on her teeth…should we tell or not tell? Anyway – in the comment ID box, the text reads “requried” instead of “required”. Just saying.)
I can see you’ve been blessed in many ways this year, Colleen. Heartfelt wishes for a beautiful New Year.
Gina–Oh, thank you! That absolutely made my day. I’ll remember that next time I’m feeling down in the dumps!
Annie—Agreed! And the best friends are the ones who will tell you when you have spinach in your teeth, instead of letting you walk around all day like that
Thanks for the heads-up about the typo!
Joey–Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful 2009 as well!