In Which I Confess to Having Bad Taste
by Colleen Vanderlinden • September 9, 2010 • Miscellaneous • 24 Comments
It’s true. Thanks to the shining beacon of enlightenment that is Garden Rant, I now know without a doubt that I am among those commoners with bad taste who dare to buy chintzy little garden ornaments.
I also know that I do this, apparently, to disguise my lack of gardening ability. And that next time I want to drop an extra few hundred dollars, I should buy a tasteful, unique garden ornament, so as not to embarrass myself further.
I should eschew silly little ducks that make me smile (even if they were birthday presents. The nerve!)
I should toss out Fenniwick, even though my kids picked him out.
This fellow should go, too. Husband and I bought him years ago, when we looked forward to having a garden of our own someday. Lowbrow, I say! Be gone!
And this little guy. Well. Better to just not say anything at all.
Yes, I am among those embarrassments who make tasteful gardeners cringe. I choose to have fun in my garden, to laugh at a goofy gnome peeking out of my butterfly garden and watch my kids pretend the ducks in the front garden are their pet ducks, and that they are magical ducks, at that. Consider me reformed. And I sincerely apologize for any pain my garden has caused you.
Disclaimer: Not.
Note: Mind your own damn business.
Postscript: And please, do try to get a life.
Postscript 2: Thanks for reading.
Mooning gnome photo by wharman, Flickr creative commons.
You said it!!
I finally read the article and its comments and was kind of appalled. I expected people to be snobbish about taste and propriety, but about income? And who says gardens should be *only* for plants? I won’t single out certain comments but I felt embarrassed for the people who wrote them.
My garden is a place that I created that makes me happy. It’s a big jumbled mess, just like me, and each bit of it–including the kitsch–makes me smile or else it wouldn’t be there. Plus, the objects tell stories because mostly other people gave them to me. It’s like Christmas trees; a color-coordinated Martha Stewart-decorated tree is pretty and all, but a lifelong collection of personal items is more interesting and triggers memories and conversations.
I have a frog similar to yours, but it’s in the house. Maybe I’ll go home and put it in the garden! That’ll show ‘em!
I quit reading them after the ‘ugly garden’ debacle. Apparently, I should be very, very glad I did!
Thanks for the reminder to stay away from, dare I say (yes, because I don’t really care!), the ‘garden snob’ sort among us.
P.S. I want that chicken!
OK, I also have to admit to sending them a tip that they used for an article without even getting a ‘kiss my ass’ in return, so my judgment may be a bit skewed. Thanks, Colleen – I feel better!
I was a little appalled at how upset some of the commenters were in regards to garden art! Although I myself don’t have any, it’s not a garden snob issue, so much as a ‘haven’t gotten around to it’ issue.
I think there’s a point where one might get carried away and be less garden & more (as one commenter said) outdoor curio cabinet, but honestly, I think the garden is a personnel expression & who are we to judge each others’ personalities?
I’ve never read Garden Rant, initially by default (I tend to read blogs of friends or those who comment on mine) and for over a year on principle, lol. I always appreciate anything anyone does in their garden, whether it is my taste or not. It’s not my freakin’ garden. And in my freakin’ garden I’ll do what *I* want to do. I have a gnome very similar to Fenniwick, my three pink flamingos, some ceramic mushrooms I didn’t put out this year, a snail missing an eye, um… gonna get my camera and have a little walkaround.
Well well well, it ain’t over is it?
Since the last ugly garden rant, I’ve had this idea of starting a Pink Flamingo Project and kept putting it off. Just never got around to it but no more! Your post has inspired me to get off my pink ass (ok, it’s white, not pink but you get the idear) and get this Flamingo project started. So, for the rest of us low-lifes, there’s now a public-yet moderated Flickr group where we can share the king of all that is kitsch and tasteless and tacky (according to SOME): The Pink Flamingo Project!
Rules are here: http://tinyurl.com/ThePinkFlamingoProject and the Flickr page is here: http://www.flickr.com/groups/1495562@N20/
It will be interesting to see who is the first to post the king of all things cheesy!
And BTW, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the mooning gnome!
I was one of those people with just a nice birdbath in the garden, perfectly matched and artfully placed. Until I visited my sister-in-law and spent an evening watching her solar ball lights changing color in the garden. I just had to have one. So I ran to my local Christmas Tree Shop, haven of all things tasteless for the garden, and bought not one but two. As my husband watched them the first evening he commented, wouldn’t that look nice by the pool? So back to Christmas Tree for two more to put in the backyard by the pool. I just giggle to myself, because I love them and yes, they are tacky as hell but who cares what anyone else thinks? Hmmm, may need to see if there are still more at the Tree…
I’ve been looking for a good gnome to put in my garden. I haven’t found one that I like yet!
If the garden art makes you smile, I say go for it. After all the garden is for you not anyone else.
As far I’m concerned, you are a real gardener!
Go forth and let the little gnomes multiply
Oh good lord. I go away for one afternoon and visit Cook County Jail’s garden and come back and see the memas of garden blogging are up to their old elitist tricks. I don’t know why people pay them so much attention, that blog hasn’t been relevant in a long time.
They’ve become everything their “manifesto” says they’re against. Too bad they live in a little bubble and can’t realize this.
I’d pay good money to read the crap their minions are trying to post here. LOL. I imagine their attempting to censor the convo just like with the ugly gardens fiasco.
I stopped reading Garden Rant after the “Ugly Garden” fiasco. Their posts and a good number of commentators smack of elitism. A garden is a personalized space and if I want to put a few wonder women figurines in my pots and you have your adorable ducks and gnomes so be it. I love all of your decor and like how it suites your personality.
Hmmmph. I think someone could benefit from a giant Buddha head in her perfect garden. It might help her meditate a bit on not being so meanspirited. Firmly in your camp, Colleen. Go gnomes!
Haven’t read the rant post yet, but I suppose I’ll have to. Still, I love the ducks — and my plastic St. Francis, too.
I think there is a vast difference between using several wimzy elements tucked in the plants and having a graveyard or ornaments with with a few plants tucked in. I love the duck.
I also stopped reading GR around the beginning of this year, I think because I finally realized that there was no gardening there, only ranting. Or maybe it was one more drive-by dis on houseplants that was the final straw. (I swear they were doing it just to fuck with me.) Or possibly I didn’t stop until the ugly vegetable garden thing. I don’t remember what it was. But yeah. Irrelevant.
Yes, people will have tastes that differ from yours. Yes, sometimes those tastes will manifest in appalling ways. But, you know, get over yourself already.
I stopped reading Garden Rant a couple years ago on principle alone. Their MO is to stir up shit for readership instead of having truly meaningful, original content, so I don’t give them a lick of attention or a single click. The site is truly an embarrassment to the gardening world – live and let live! If I want pink flamingos in my front yard because it makes me happy, then by all means I WILL have pink flamingos in my front yard. And if I’ve learned anything in my last year, it’s that life is too short to be unhappy or give a damn about what elitist idiots think. Adventure on, my friends.
You Go Girl! I say yes to kitschy yard art. I say YES to the freedom of displaying whatever that gives you you. I have no idea what Garden Rant is but shame on them.
I think I have the king of ugly garden art – it is quite the conversation piece. It was an uber expensive piece of ‘art’ made out of old plumbing parts – DH just HAD to have it. No impulse control. I’m going to go snap a photo of the sucker and post it proudly!
Oh, and I think I have that same frog.
Diane — I felt the same way, and am the same way about the “stuff” in my garden — it has a story and memories behind it, and I love it. You should move your frog outside! We had ours inside forever, but I love the way he looks in the garden.
Tina — We found the chicken on clearance at Lowes last fall — I LOVE it.
Amy — Exactly!
Monica — “And in my freakin’ garden I’ll do what *I* want to do.” Amen to that, sister!!
Julia — I love the Pink Flamingo Project! Yay! I’ll be keeping my eye on it — wish I had a flamingo so I could enter
Linda — That is awesome. It is surprising what attracts us sometimes — so much fun.
Meems — I just found mine this past spring at Costco — he’s cast iron, and I LOVE him. And I thought I wasn’t a gnome person until I met him
Christina — For sure!
MBT — Oh, my gosh. I almost wonder if they have that manifesto up there as a joke or something.
Kristi — Do you have a pic of those Wonder Woman figurines?? Awesome!
Cynthia —
Mary — I don’t have a St. Francis yet, but I am on the lookout for one.
Liz — Thanks! My mother-in-law bought them for me for my birthday a couple of years ago. I love them.
Mr_Subjunctive — They do get stupid about the whole houseplant thing, don’t they. I keep swearing I’m going to stop reading them, then someone will tweet a link and there I am. I should just stop. Bad for my blood pressure
And I think the “get over yourselves already” is the key to the whole thing.
Katie — Hell, yes! To all of it!
Lifeshighway — Thanks! And I hope you come back and comment again
Stevie — Please do! I think I bought my frog at Marshall’s. Someplace like that, anyway.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to read GR-and kept feeling that somehow, this was that SNOTTY bunch from High School-the ones that looked down their noses at EVERYONE. I’m glad I’m not alone. And dear, you should HIDE that chicken, because I , for one, will STEAL it for my OWN trashy garden, if I ever come across your yard.
And you made me laugh, VERY LOUDLY at 6 a.m. and wake up hubby with your Kiss my Butt gnome. Priceless!
Out front I still have a duck or two, and possibly a snail. Generally though I keep the front critters to a stone style or colour. My ducks are unpainted, the snail is faux stone. In the back I’m all pizazz! I’m guilty of the same! My gnomes patrol the back gardens, and hokey little garden signs roam.
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The more rules you place on how gardening “should” be, the more you’re going to drive people away from wanting to try it or keep going.
There’s reasons why I never want to live in an HOA (my parents have had so many problems with the stupidity of theirs) and this is one. I don’t want to live in a vanilla world with a few arbitrary sprinkles. Sometimes I feel like having chocolate malted ball crunch, or gummi bears on my frozen yogurt. Just like how I might think it’s cool to put a frog or lizard, etc in my garden.
It’s the whimsy and fun that makes life vibrant.
LOVE the chicken,the loook of her face is adorbale. I laughed out loud as soon as I saw it and like you, would be happy to see her everyday in my garden.